CUTTY SPOT

when I see complete strangers crying
I want to hug them

these days are not relivable

I’ve cut my hair myself
for the last year

& each time
it feels like I’m creating art

like a dog is barking
in my brain

I want to be a nobody
I want to be famous

there is a difference
between
asking good questions
& being good
at asking them

there is a game
& no one knows
what it means
to win

which is to say
I want to build a snowwoman
next time I’m in the snow

I want to drink tea
from a beaker

in my own personal wilderness
_
Matthew Sherling
http://www.metazen.ca/?p=12162

sadcoredadwave:

I just said “god fucking dammit” to the moth who cannot hear me, fluttering across the ceiling, saying it I didn’t feel anything.
Andy Warhol holding a skull by his head is my favorite book cover.
When I was a twelve-year-old shithead I read the New York Times while my sisters carved…

WHAT IF FRUITS HAD FEELINGS AND IF YOU ATE THEM YOU WOULD GET THOSE FEELINGS

OR WHAT IF FEELINGS WERE COLLECTIBLE BUT YOU HAD TO KEEP THEM IN THE BOX OR THEY’D LOSE VALUE

OR WHAT IF I COULD STEAL YOUR FEELINGS FROM A GREAT DISTANCE

OR QUIETLY LEECH THEM WHILE PROXIMAL TO YOU

LIKE WE’RE ALL HERE NOW AND IM HERE TOO AND IM SIPHONING OFF OF YOU

IM STEALING YR FEELINGS LITTLE BY LITTLE AND SOON I WILL BE RICH AND DRAMATIC AND LIKE A BEAUTIFUL STORM

AND YOU WILL BE LEADEN 

YOU’LL BE DEAD IN THE WATER

YOU’LL BE HEAVY WOOD SOMEONE BROUGHT OUT INTO THE FIELD TO BUILD SOMETHING WITH AND THEN FORGOT ABOUT MANY YEARS AGO 

THERE YOU SIT, USELESS

OR WHAT IF FEELINGS WERE DETACHABLE, SWAPPABLE

HERE LET’S TRADE

OR WHAT IF I GIVE AWAY ALL MY FEELINGS TO A FEELINGS PAUPER AND THEN WHAT

WILL I BE LIKE A BEAUTIFUL INSECT 

FREE IN THE WORLD 

SOMETIMES I WANT THE FEELINGS OF A HORSE

I WANT TO BE A HORSE FULL OF HORSE FEELINGS 

AND I WANT TO RUN

RUNNING IS A FEELING IF YOU ARE A HORSE AND IT IS MAYBE THE BEST FEELING

WHALES HAVE THE BIGGEST, MOST PERFECT FEELINGS

THEY ARE IRREDUCIBLE 

PLY THEM WITH ALL THE MOST ADVANCED TECHNOLOGIES AND COME AWAY CLEAN

AND WITH NO DISCERNIBLE PROGRESS

FEELINGS BORN IN PRESSURES LIKE THAT RESIST US 

OR WHAT IF SCIENTISTS DISCOVER A LOT OF HUMAN FEELINGS THAT HAVE BEEN DORMANT INSIDE US

AND THE FIRST PERSON TO AWAKEN THEM WINS A PRIZE

A SERIES OF RECKLESS EXPERIMENTS BORN SUDDENLY AND RESULTING IN SEVERAL ACCIDENTAL DEATHS WILL NOT DETER US

WE ARE IMPLACABLE

WE ARE LIKE THE TIDE, TAKEN TOGETHER

THE HUMAN SPECIES CANNOT BE ARGUED WITH

WE ARE CERTAIN AND FATAL

BUT I WONDER IF WE TOOK THE AVERAGE WHAT THE AVERAGE HUMAN FEELING IS

IM GOING TO GUESS HUNGRY

IM GOING TO GUESS EAGER

IM GOING TO GUESS “WANT”

IM GOING TO GUESS VAIN

WE HAVE A WHOLE MENAGERIE OF VANITIES AND WE LIKE TO PUT THEM ON DISPLAY 

SO LONG AS SOMEONE’S LOOKING

WHAT IS THE FEELING OF DESIRING TO BE SEEN

WHAT IS THE FEELING OF BEING ON A LIFELONG QUEST OF TRYING TO DISCOVER YOURSELF IN OTHERS

WHAT IS THE FEELING OF WANTING TO STEP COMPLETELY AND PAINLESSLY OUTSIDE YOURSELF SO THAT YOU CAN REST

IF ONLY FOR A LITTLE WHILE